feeling like billy madison….

“Back to school, back to school, to prove to Dad that I am not a fool.” 

Monday my little tigers AND I start school.  My son doesn’t seem to mind going back other than it ‘s going to cramp his Xbox style.  My daughter, God bless her heart, is just like me.  She is very emotional about it and nervous, and at times sick to her stomach about it.  I’ve had to dry her tears more than once and reassure her that within thirty minutes of being in class she will be perfectly fine and that everyone, even the teachers, are ALL nervous on the first day.  Now, keep in mind how mental I am and how much I dread being the oldest person in my class AGAIN.  This is what I really want to do.

I want to drop down to my knees and cry with her.  I want to hold her tightly and plan an escape with her.   I want to suggest that maybe we aren’t praying HARD enough to win the lottery.  I want to scream, “NO, THEY CAN’T FORCE US TO GO.”  I want to make picket signs that say Hell No We Won’t Go and hang up them up all over the house. 

Of course I cannot do these things.  But I remember being 8 and how much I hated the first day of school.  I wanted to take all of my new crayons and folders and paper and erasers and stay in my room and PLAY school. 

For her, though, I put on a super crazy brave face and giggle.  I ask her if she will help me study for tests if I help her study for hers.  Then I complain about homework (just like she does).  “OH” I say, “we can totally do our homework TOGETHER now!”  She smiles.  I am going to make a study space for us, all three of us, and make it fun.  When I learn disgusting things about the human body I will share it with them both and we will all scream, “EWWWWWWWWWWW!”

I still have to buy my books, a backpack, and some minor school supplies.  I will take them with me and maybe let them pick out my backpack for me.  Let’s pray I don’t end up with something too silly. 

Tomorrow is the back to school Mass.  It will be so nice to see everyone and meet the teachers.  Monday after drop off some of the Moms are going to meet for breakfast.  Once more the close-knit sisterly love of my Nativity friends will pick up right where it left off.  I will get to see Super D (one of my besties) more often – this makes me happy.  I sorted out the kids’ stuff and labeled what needed to be labeled.  I am missing a red folder and something else that I can send in on the first day in their backpacks. 

My little girl is sleeping.  If she only knew that her Momma was still up, having anxiety attacks about school on Monday….haha.  Time to pop a pill and force myself to sleep or I won’t at all. 

See you on the flip side suckas!!

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Valerie Fasig
    Aug 19, 2012 @ 12:36:47

    I’ve been worried sick about you and now I see that you have had a problem. I hope to God it had nothing to do with me. You ARE so much like our little girl. She hid her fear of the first day of school so well as you always did. There’s a part of you which I’ve never really understood and I’m so sorry for that. You always seemed like such a strong and happy person, It’s hard for me to comprehend that you harbored such fear. I guess you’re your mothers daughter too. I love you sweetheart and you must always know that you and I can talk about anything that bothers you. I might not be able to fix it but it feels better get out instead of in you. Please remember this. Your, Momxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx By the way, this edition is brilliant.xxxxxxxxx

    Reply

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