Will someone please call me a waaambulance?  I’ve been SO whiney the last few days.  Granted, I have a good reason to be, but now that I have a good reason I am thinking about all of the whining I do over stupid stuff.  My very good friend told me today that there is probably something good in my whining and that God loves what I dislike about myself.  I told her that I was pretty sure that Jesus was rolling his eyes at me.  When I try to picture Jesus loving me even when I’m whiney I see him looking up to Heaven, and asking the Father to please shut me the hell up already. 

My blessings far out number my misfortunes.  I have no serious issues that I am dealing with.  Unlike most people with problems I am not juggling a full-time job along with everything else.  My kids are healthy and happy.  My husband is healthy and happy.  (at least he says he’s happy =P)  I’m not living in poverty and I have probably THE most amazing friends and family.  I go to church every Saturday for vigil and I feel a strong kindred with my Nativity family.  So why do I whine so much?  Maybe I’m just a whiner.  I AM the baby out of three kids.  Yeah, that’s probably it.  I’m still “the baby” is all.  I’m going to have to go ahead and blame my parents (again) for this one.  **just joking, Mom.  No, REALLY, I was joking**  sorta. 

Where was I going with this?  Oh yeah, whining and God.  I don’t consider myself a Holy Roller or a Bible Thumper but I do talk to God several times a day.  I almost always remember to thank Him each night for all the blessings in my life.  I ask Him to keep those that I love safe and peaceful, especially my babies.  I usually have a couple of special prayers to say for others that are in desperate need.  I believe in the power of prayer.  Of course I always end my nightly prayers with, “please let us win the lottery, God.  Not some tiddley 2 million one either, I want tens of millions!  Amen.”  Hey, the squeaky catholic gets greased, right?

Last night I was talking to God.  Well, actually, it was like 5 a.m. because I could not sleep and I was staring at the ceiling.  So…. this morning I was talking to God about this whole Chantix struggle and not being able to sleep.  Give me strength and blah blah blah.  I told him how tired I was of feeling crummy and complaining all of the time.  I’m pretty used to God answering me.  He usually does even though it’s not always the answer I was looking for.  Which is why I firmly believe that it was divine intervention that I ended up channel surfing and landing on a show about millionaires who go undercover and then help organizations they volunteer for with their own money.  Yeah, I know, the whole concept is totally over done and very corny.  BUT!  Today I saw a lot of people living in squalor.  In shitty, little homes in dirty, run down neighborhoods ridden with gangs and crime.  Little kids who don’t stand a snowball’s chance in Hell running around with no shoes on. 

Now I know God answers everyone differently, and my personality would probably like to see God go, “HA!  See???  You are blessed!  Look how lucky you are!!! I TOLD YOU SO!”  But God just sits back and lets me come to the realization in my own time.  And when my  dim light bulb does finally come on I see God just standing there and smiling at me.  This visual  surprises me every time.  Which makes that whole “mystery” thing about God so much more credible. 

So in short I now feel that instead of whining I should be shouting for joy.  I AM truly blessed.  I have soooo little to whine about.  And now I am happy.  I think my headache is even going away.

So in good catholic fashion I wish I could have several black beers with my friends and talk about all of the ways that we are blessed and then take a cab home.  

Then I would have a nice, little hangover to complain about tomorrow!


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. andrea
    Jul 21, 2012 @ 21:07:08

    You rock, Corrie. You know, we’re all perfectly imperfect. That’s taken me most of my 46 years to accept, but we all are. There’s no getting around it and YES, God does love us because of it, in spite of it, regardless of it. I heard a wonderful quote recently….well, I will paraphrase it because I don’t remember the entire accurate quote. It basically was: our soul & our person is like a pane of glass. it may look clean, smudge-free & perfect but when we turn it towards the sun (the Son), all our imperfections are magnified and highlighted. That allows us to get the spiritual windex and truly clean the smudges/dirt away but also accept that (like a diamond viewed through a jeweler’s loupe) there are imperfections/flaws that are part of the beauty. If we always face our window pane towards the sun (Son), we will allow the rays to highlight who we really are. The same source said to remember that saints weren’t people without sin/flaws/weaknesses…..quite the reverse, they were full of sins/flaws/weaknesses and admitted them constantly and accepted that they were lowly sinners but loved God more. And you are loved much.


  2. quotidianverve
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 12:40:40

    Thank you, Andrea!!


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