mental pause

I haz it.  I am all over the place.  I’m in a whirlwind of emotion and mood that I have absolutely zero control over.  It’s a scary but interesting place to be.  Some of you have been here, some of you are in here  with me  (wave).  The only being that understands me right now is my cat, Sophie Anne LeClerq, and she is a raving maniac.  She eats, she sleeps, she slaps the shit out of anyone who bothers her.  Yes, we are mentally on the same plane, except she is a cat and she can get away with that.  She knows I am in mental anguish too.  You know how animals are, they just know.  She actually took a nap today beside me and was touching me.  TOUCHING me.  It’s unheard of.  Here’s a shot of her with her old friend Ginger. 

Queen Sophie Anne LeClerq

So one minute I feel ambitious, I think ambitious, I want to conquer the world………that’s usually at about 2:30am.  Yep.  I know.  From 10am to 6pm I am a complete puddle of <insert blood curdling scream here>.  To make myself (and you) feel better about me, let’s look at what I have accomplished lately. 

1. I quit smoking

2. I’ve been on a diet and I’ve lost weight

3. Found the same character voice in at least 4 separate cartoons.

Tomorrow is a new day though.  Maybe I’ll wake up a little less crazy.

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advice needed

EDIT——— I have decided not to do an advice column.  Partly because I’m not really smart enough to give people sound advice and partly because I forgot that I start school again soon and won’t have time to indulge in blogs and stuff as much as I do now.  Thank you for the support and kind words though!

I am thinking of making a Facebook page with an advice column.  Or maybe adding one here.  What do you think?  I’m pretty good at NOT sugar-coating things for people and saying exactly what I think of most anything.   I think my advice is golden but some would disagree, probably in a very angry way.  Just a thought.  I like helping people.  Sometimes I even feed the trolls when I’m not being one myself. 

I could call it “No More Bullshit”.  I like it.

Let’s take a vote, shall we?

 

 

 

 

 

waaaaaa….

Will someone please call me a waaambulance?  I’ve been SO whiney the last few days.  Granted, I have a good reason to be, but now that I have a good reason I am thinking about all of the whining I do over stupid stuff.  My very good friend told me today that there is probably something good in my whining and that God loves what I dislike about myself.  I told her that I was pretty sure that Jesus was rolling his eyes at me.  When I try to picture Jesus loving me even when I’m whiney I see him looking up to Heaven, and asking the Father to please shut me the hell up already. 

My blessings far out number my misfortunes.  I have no serious issues that I am dealing with.  Unlike most people with problems I am not juggling a full-time job along with everything else.  My kids are healthy and happy.  My husband is healthy and happy.  (at least he says he’s happy =P)  I’m not living in poverty and I have probably THE most amazing friends and family.  I go to church every Saturday for vigil and I feel a strong kindred with my Nativity family.  So why do I whine so much?  Maybe I’m just a whiner.  I AM the baby out of three kids.  Yeah, that’s probably it.  I’m still “the baby” is all.  I’m going to have to go ahead and blame my parents (again) for this one.  **just joking, Mom.  No, REALLY, I was joking**  sorta. 

Where was I going with this?  Oh yeah, whining and God.  I don’t consider myself a Holy Roller or a Bible Thumper but I do talk to God several times a day.  I almost always remember to thank Him each night for all the blessings in my life.  I ask Him to keep those that I love safe and peaceful, especially my babies.  I usually have a couple of special prayers to say for others that are in desperate need.  I believe in the power of prayer.  Of course I always end my nightly prayers with, “please let us win the lottery, God.  Not some tiddley 2 million one either, I want tens of millions!  Amen.”  Hey, the squeaky catholic gets greased, right?

Last night I was talking to God.  Well, actually, it was like 5 a.m. because I could not sleep and I was staring at the ceiling.  So…. this morning I was talking to God about this whole Chantix struggle and not being able to sleep.  Give me strength and blah blah blah.  I told him how tired I was of feeling crummy and complaining all of the time.  I’m pretty used to God answering me.  He usually does even though it’s not always the answer I was looking for.  Which is why I firmly believe that it was divine intervention that I ended up channel surfing and landing on a show about millionaires who go undercover and then help organizations they volunteer for with their own money.  Yeah, I know, the whole concept is totally over done and very corny.  BUT!  Today I saw a lot of people living in squalor.  In shitty, little homes in dirty, run down neighborhoods ridden with gangs and crime.  Little kids who don’t stand a snowball’s chance in Hell running around with no shoes on. 

Now I know God answers everyone differently, and my personality would probably like to see God go, “HA!  See???  You are blessed!  Look how lucky you are!!! I TOLD YOU SO!”  But God just sits back and lets me come to the realization in my own time.  And when my  dim light bulb does finally come on I see God just standing there and smiling at me.  This visual  surprises me every time.  Which makes that whole “mystery” thing about God so much more credible. 

So in short I now feel that instead of whining I should be shouting for joy.  I AM truly blessed.  I have soooo little to whine about.  And now I am happy.  I think my headache is even going away.

So in good catholic fashion I wish I could have several black beers with my friends and talk about all of the ways that we are blessed and then take a cab home.  

Then I would have a nice, little hangover to complain about tomorrow!

sleep typing

I lay in bed for hours trying to sleep, and failing, so I got out of bed humming  the tune of Syd Barrett’s “Love You.”  Here is an example of some of the lyrics:

Honey love you, honey little
Honey funny sunny morning, love you
More funny love in the skyline baby
Ice cream excuse me
I seen you looking good the other evening

It’s like confused happiness exploded inside my brain this morning.  And here comes the sun.  Do do do doo.  I haven’t had a lot going on these past couple of days so I will just give you the highlights.  Sharkus called his Dad a walking turd the other day.  All four of us laughed until we cried and then Daddy gave a speech about the 4th commandment (again).  My daughter was going around the house making heavy metal finger gestures while chanting “Jimmi Hendrix Yeah!”  I have no idea how or why she knows about Jimmi Hendrix.  Disney Channel?  That’s about it.  Here’s to hoping it picks up around here a little!

 

tgif (except for the whole quitting smoking thing)

Yes, you read correctly.  I quit smoking a few days ago.  I started taking Chantix (which I’ve taken before but went off of too early, it works) and when I ran out of smokes I just didn’t purchase any more.  Do I feel better?  Yes!  Do I want to smoke right this very second?  Yes!  It doesn’t help that my little boy is sitting next to me whining in this screetchy voice from hell because I won’t let him play Xbox.  The kid plays too much Xbox.  A friend of mine just posted on Facebook about this particular topic.  Though I did not agree with her post, it did remind me of how much time my kid stares at the TV blowing things up.  Anyway, do you have any idea how difficult it is to write when someone is screetching at you?  Thank goodness Daddy is home to bark at him or he might whine all day.  I will give the boy credit though, he’s a natural.  He hacked into his Dad’s Xbox live account three different times at the ages of 3 or 4.  Color me suprised when that Microsoft bill for $80 showed up. 

Where was I going with this?  Oh yeah, I quit smoking.  I’m fine most of the time but there are moments I want to kill.  Moments when even Yogi Bear isn’t smarter than the average bear because he won’t shut the hell up and he’s getting on my nerves.  A few deep breaths later it passes though. 

Dieting….I am also dieting.  Who in their right mind quits smoking and starts dieting at the same time?  All this bitchy-ness is totally making sense.  So instead of smothering my ciggie cravings with sugar-coated whatever or melted cheese on chips I am eating things like yogurt with fresh berries and salad, and lean meats.  I still put real sugar in my coffee, and cream, because some things you should NEVER fuck with.  Coffee is one of those things.  I also have two favorite mugs that I drink my coffee out of.  Sometimes my husband, Mike, risks his life and uses one.  Today it’s my KNOCK KNOCK mug with Beyoncé the chicken on other side.  It was a gift from a friend (who is actually the reason I am brave enough to finally start this blog).  I am very protective about my kids and my two coffee mugs.  Try and mess with either and you will pull back a bloody stump, and since I am dieting and not smoking I might even beat you to death with your own arm.

here it goes…

This isn’t my first rodeo.  I’ve made blogs before.  I’ve spent hours upon hours choosing my themes, customizing them to perfection, only to delete them.  I have decided to just go for it this time.  Who really cares what it looks like, it’s what is written that matters, yes? 

Soooo….what will this blog be about?  Probably a lot of different stuff that goes on in my life on a daily basis.  I try to make life as interesting as possible by surrounding myself by funny, smart people.  I also have an extremely weird husband and two crazy kids to write about.  Oh I forgot to mention my two cats and my colorful family?  Oh, this should be fun.  Even if you hate it I will consider it therapy for myself.

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